It seems like every day on social media there are numerous friends and ministry colleagues celebrating wedding anniversaries. Whether they have been married three years or sixty-three years, it is a joy to wish someone a happy wedding anniversary.
On April 3rd of this year Connie and I celebrated our 33rd wedding anniversary. We met at Northside Baptist Church in Indianapolis, Indiana, married a little over a year later in the church I was serving as pastor, and have enjoyed a blessed life together.
Here are five things every Christian couple could consider for a stronger and healthier marriage.
1. Learn to compromise: Marriage is the blending of two lives together. Jesus reminded us in Mark 10:8, “And the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh.” Connie and I like to say that in the early days of our marriage, we knew the two were supposed to become one — we just couldn’t agree on which one we were going to become. We are just different in some ways, and that’s okay. Connie likes to sit near the back in church services, and I like to sit near the front. So, we usually end up sitting somewhere near the middle. Compromising on small things while agreeing on big things is important in every marriage.
2. Say, “I love you” often: I once heard someone say, and it stuck with me, that married couples should hug each other at least four times each day. Hug when you greet each other in the morning after you are up and out of bed. Hug your spouse before you leave the house for the day, as it could be the last time you see each other on earth. Hug when you see each other again after your workday is finished and give each other a hug before going to bed. I would add to that advice to say, “I love you” to one another as often as you can. It is an important reminder of your commitment to and affection for each other.
3. Eat meals together frequently: Early in our marriage, Connie and I would eat dinner in front of the television watching whatever show we liked at the time. When our girls came along, we decided we should eat our meals around the dinner table. It was a good choice. We have breakfast together every day unless I am away overnight. We usually manage to have lunch or dinner together as well. This is a time for us to catch up with each other and talk about upcoming plans or work through any issues we need to discuss.
4. Make time for each other: I recently asked a pastor friend what he does for a hobby. He answered, somewhat tongue in cheek, “Hobby — what’s that?” I understood exactly what he was saying. If a person is involved in vocational ministry and has a wife and family, it is difficult to find time for anything else. That’s okay. What’s not okay is never making time for your marriage. Husbands and wives need frequent, relaxed, unhurried time together.
5. Say, “I’m sorry” when you mess up: Two of the most important words in any marriage are, “I’m sorry.” Every spouse messes up on occasion, but a failure to acknowledge it can lead to resentment. Apologizing and seeking forgiveness for mistakes, or sinful choices, should be easy for Christians, but pride can get in the way of us taking blame for our missteps. Fess up when you mess up and then aim to do better with God’s help.
Life is tough and Christian ministry can be challenging. Having a wife who loves you and wants the best for you is an incredible gift from God. I am continually grateful to God for bringing Connie and me together and hope to be the kind of husband to her God wants me to be.
After 33 years of marriage, I am more excited about our life together today than I was on April 3rd, 1993, when we stood in the altar at New Hope Baptist Church in Trigg County Kentucky and pledged our love for each other. We are grateful to God for another happy anniversary.
Dr. Todd Gray 
Happy Anniversary!
LikeLike