I have heard it said that the most difficult person you will ever lead is yourself. I think that is generally true for a number of reasons. We tend to be very gracious with ourselves in terms of deadlines, self-pity, mistakes and weaknesses, and we may also underestimate our weaknesses and overestimate our strengths. Most of us are not very objective about ourselves and benefit from seeing our gifts, abilities and unique contributions from a caring boss or supervisor.
Here are some tips that can be of assistance on self-leadership:
1. Know how much sleep you need: I discovered many years ago that I need about seven and a half hours of sleep each night to function properly the next day. More sleep tends to make me lazy and unproductive, while too little sleep makes me irritable and grumpy. Figure out how much sleep you need to function at your best.
2. Know your temptations and weaknesses: Where are you vulnerable? Is it anger or discouragement, or are you more likely to overeat or spend hours doomscrolling on social media or playing games on your phone? Whatever your weakness or temptation, the more aware you are of it, the more likely you will be able to fight against it rather than succumbing to the temptation.
3. Know your triggers: What personality types bring out the worst in you? Is it the constant complainer — the person who can never see what God is doing in your church or ministry but only recognizes where their preferences may be going unmet? Being aware of people who bring out the worst in you can help you pray and discover God’s resources when you encounter them.
4. Know what discourages you: When are you most discouraged? Is it when someone falls asleep during your sermon, when someone leaves the church for another congregation, when attendance is low or something else? Whatever discourages you — be prepared to meet it head on and take it to the Lord in prayer.
5. Know when to walk away: I’m not talking about walking away from ministry, but from your work at the end of the day or the end of the week. Diminishing returns on work occurs when the time and energy invested in your work is not producing added productivity. Sometimes rest is better than continuing in the task, and you need to know when to press in on a project and when to put it aside for a while.
6. Know what recharges you: For me, 20 minutes in a folding chair under a shade tree with a cup of coffee is like medicine to my soul. Also, a good nap can be incredibly refreshing. Whether you recharge by fishing, walking, reading or something else, you need to discover what helps you clear your head and stay refreshed for those you love and those you are called to serve.
7. Know how you learn: Do you learn from podcasts or from reading books? Do you need to take courses or attend seminars? Are you better off listening to sermons or sitting down with an aging leader and learning from him? Discovering where and how you learn best can help you maximize the limited time you have for personal and professional development.
8. Know how your words may be perceived: Feedback is the breakfast of champions, but many of us seldom receive information that is helpful for personal growth. Try to discover how your words are coming across to others. Are you viewed as hypercritical, judgmental, harsh, defensive or are you coming across as thoughtful, caring, focused and a good listener? You will need to ask others for help with this one.
9. Know when to ask for help: None of us are so good that we would not benefit from insights and assistance from other people. God has made us to live in community, and we miss opportunities for growth and improvement when we fail to solicit assistance.
One of the greatest needs for leaders today is the type of self-awareness that helps us continue to grow and remain effective in our ministry. May the Lord continue to help you better understand your unique strengths and challenges so that you may depend more fully on Him in your walk with God and service to His people.
Dr. Todd Gray 